Author: Carol Pages, Pages Family Law.

In the second article in our January series of ‘Where do I begin’ after separation, the focus of this article is where to begin with arrangements for your children.  Our first article available here gives an overview of some of the information available on the internet, as well as some tips about what’s in and what’s out in family law financial settlements.

What does the law say about parenting?

The objective of the parenting sections of the Family Law Act 1975 is to ensure the best interests of the children are met, including by ensuring their safety.

We’re amicable – what are some tips to get us started?

Although separation often means a lot of upheaval, for example when one parent moves out, it can help to consider the routines in your week that will stay the same.

Do you work late or early some days, or do the kids have an activity on a weeknight or a weekend morning?  Established commitments in the week can sometimes be a starting point to working out what your arrangements will look like.  

In family law the children’s spend time arrangements are usually worked out on a fortnightly cycle.  This gives a 14 day block to consider routines, and think about the children spending a weekend with each parent, as well as some time with each parent during the week.  

A suggestion we give to clients which is often popular is to have one night per week the children are always with you, and one night per week with the other parent.  That might mean Wednesday after school and overnight with mum, Thursday after school overnight with dad.  One parent might to an activity on their night, or it might accommodate a parent’s working schedule. For equal time or ‘week about’ arrangements, the week is broken up, so the child gets to see the other parent one night during the week they are with the other parent.

Should we document our agreement?

Some families have an informal arrangement, some draw up a parenting plan on the internet or through a mediator, and for a lot of families, these work perfectly and are sometimes changed as the kids grow and routines change.

The potential risk in these documents is that if something goes wrong, they are not enforceable.  We have had clients who have been sharing care of the children with a parenting plan for months and sometimes over a year after separation, when the other parent decided to withhold the children.  

The best way to document your parenting plan to formalise it, is via consent orders.  You can do this yourself or have a lawyer help you – either to write them up if you are agreed, or help you negotiate your arrangements if you aren’t.  The application for consent orders is then sent to the Court for their approval.  Your consent orders are enforceable, and they can be varied by agreement if necessary in the future. You don’t need to go to Court.

Victoria Legal Aid publish helpful information about documenting your parenting arrangements.  Family law is federal, and applies everywhere (except WA), or the Legal Aid Commission in your state may publish similar information: If you agree on parenting arrangements | Victoria Legal Aid

The Family Courts have a do-it-yourself kit for consent orders, along with some information about what they are and how to complete them.  This link will get you started How do I apply for consent orders? | Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia

What’s the best way to communicate arrangements?

Some separated parents are happy to communicate by text, email or by phone re their children’s arrangements.  Lawyer tip – don’t use Snapchat for this! 

Some parents prefer a parenting app. Depending on the features of the app, it can include shared calendars, information about things like medication for the children, and the messages are downloadable in case there are any issues in the future.

The ones we typically recommend to clients (in no particular order) are AppClose AppClose – The Best Co-Parenting App; Our Family Wizard OurFamilyWizard | The Best Coparenting App; or The CoOperate App CoOperate | The Coparenting App Recommended by Courts

We can’t agree on how to share time with the kids

Is some time agreed? Can you start with that and review in an agreed timeframe? In the meantime, there are lots of resources out there to help separated parents reach agreement about their parenting arrangements.  See the below on Mediation, and consider getting some initial legal advice to give you options on how to proceed.

Mediation

Mediation can be an enormous help in getting parenting arrangements started or resolved after separation. So much time, stress and money in legal fees and litigation can be saved by mediation.  Even if mediation doesn’t resolve the whole thing for you, it can help narrow the issues in dispute, so there is less left to sort out.

A great place to start in looking for mediation is Family Relationships Online: Family mediation and dispute resolution | Family Relationships Online It is advisable to book in as soon as possible as there can be waiting time for an appointment.  The mediators typically have an intake session with each parent, before any joint session takes place.  In some cases, mediation is not suitable for that family, and the mediator will provide a certificate to confirm that.

Aside from some specific exceptions, an attempt at mediation needs to be made before an application to the Court for parenting orders can be made.

It’s not safe for the children to spend time with the other parent

There are some matters where parenting arrangements can’t be made right after separation.  These can be due to family violence, substance abuse, or mental health issues that may be a risk to the children or a carer.  In an emergency, always call 000.  There are many community organisations that can assist such as Orange Door The Orange Door | orangedoor.vic.gov.au Berry Street Berry Street – child & family services, family… | Berry Street or Mensline Free help, referrals & counselling for men: MensLine Australia National organisations such as 1800RESPECT can also assist.

Further resources

We typically recommend the Parenting After Separation course to all clients.  These are often low cost or no cost and can be done online.  They provide lots of information and most people report them being helpful.  Completion of a Parenting After Separation course is often a standard order in parenting matters in the Court (that is how highly they are regarded).  Other popular courses include Tuning into Teens and Circle of Security.  

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The content of this article is provided for information purposes only and does not constitute legal advice.  We recommend that you seek legal advice relevant to your own circumstances and we would be happy to assist you.

Carol Pages is the Principal of Pages Family Law and an Accredited Specialist in Family Law and a Nationally Accredited Mediator. If you would like advice about your own separation, please contact Pages Family Law at info@pagesfamilylaw.com.au or on 03 9121 8077.