Author: Carol Pages, Pages Family Law.
Tips for Dividing Time and Keeping the Holidays Stress-Free
The long summer school holidays can be a wonderful time for children – a break from their school routine, warm weather, and the excitement of Christmas and New Year. For separated parents, though, school holiday parenting arrangements can also bring challenges: extended time away from children, balancing travel or family commitments, and keeping communication calm and clear.
With a little early planning and flexibility, it’s possible parenting arrangements during school holidays that work well for everyone – most importantly, for the children.
In our last article we focussed on Christmas day planning: Holiday Parenting Plans: Stress-Free Christmas Tips
In this article we focus on school holiday care arrangement tips for separated parents:
Start Planning Early
It’s never too soon to start the conversation about splitting time over school holidays. Agreeing on dates and plans well before the end of the school year can prevent misunderstandings and last-minute stress.
Consider sharing a calendar that includes key dates such as Christmas gatherings, family trips, and the return to school. Some of the co-parenting Apps available online for a small or no cost can give you a shared calendar to use not only for your Christmas custody arrangements, but for the whole year.
If travel or special events are planned, give the other parent plenty of notice. A clear, written plan – even a simple email summary – can help both parents stay on the same page.
Find a Structure That Suits Your Family
There’s no one right way to divide holiday time. Some families prefer to alternate weeks, while others find it easier for one parent to have a longer block and then swap the following year.
When deciding what works best, think about:
- ● The child’s age and temperament
- ● Travel plans or family traditions
- ● Each parent’s work commitments
- ● The importance of giving children quality time with both parents
If one parent is travelling or hosting visiting family, you might agree to adjust time that year and balance it in the next.
Make Changeovers Easy for Children
Changeover days can be emotional for children, especially around Christmas. Try to make transitions predictable and calm. Avoid handovers late at night or in the middle of busy celebrations.
You might choose a neutral meeting place or a familiar location such as a park or café. Having a checklist for clothes, favourite toys or medications can help ensure nothing is forgotten and everyone feels prepared.
Be Flexible When Plans Change
Even with the best planning, things can shift – flights get delayed, relatives visit unexpectedly, or a child becomes unwell. Agree in advance how you’ll handle changes. A simple “let’s keep each other updated as things evolve” approach can go a long way.
If one parent misses time due to unexpected events, consider offering make-up time later in the holidays. Showing flexibility helps build trust and keeps the focus on what’s best for the children.
Keep the Children’s Experience Central
It’s easy to get caught up in dividing time evenly, but the goal is to make the holidays enjoyable and relaxed for the children. Encourage them to share what they’d like to do – whether that’s attending a holiday program, seeing extended family, or simply having quiet time at home.
For older children, be open to including their preferences while still maintaining structure. Summer casual jobs and plans with friends can add some further things to think about when making holiday plans.
Knowing what to expect helps children feel secure and reduces anxiety about moving between homes.
Review and Adjust Each Year
At the end of the holidays, take a moment to reflect: what worked well, and what could be improved next time? As children grow and family circumstances change, parenting plans can evolve too.
Even small adjustments- like changing the handover day or swapping blocks of time – can make future holidays smoother for everyone.
Getting Support
If communication with your former partner is proving difficult, or if you need to update your parenting plan or court orders before the holidays, professional advice can help. A clear, workable agreement gives everyone peace of mind so the focus can return to making happy holiday memories.
If you’d like guidance in reviewing or updating your parenting arrangements before the school holidays, our team at Pages Family Law can help. We’ll explain your options and assist you in creating arrangements that are practical, child-focused and fair.
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The content of this article is provided for information purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. We recommend that you seek legal advice relevant to your own circumstances and we would be happy to assist you.
Carol Pages is the Principal of Pages Family Law and an Accredited Specialist in Family Law and a Nationally Accredited Mediator. If you would like advice about your own separation, please contact Pages Family Law at info@pagesfamilylaw.com.au or on 03 9121 8077 or book a 15 minute free discovery call via our website.
